Quietus Vet on handling Grief

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Nick Cave’s son, Arthur, died in 2015. Nick is now discussing the loss of his son through various media channels. Here he is talking to The Guardian newspaper:

“A lot is said about grief, especially the conventional wisdom that you do it alone. I personally have found that not to be the case. The goodwill we received after Arthur’s death from people who I did not know, especially through social media, people who liked my music and kind of reached out, was extraordinary… The rush of emotion ( the film about Nick Cave “One more time with feeling” ) unleashed in people and the way they wrote about their own sadnesses and their own griefs was monumental and amazingly helpful for me and my family.

“Initially, I thought it would be impossible to do this in the public eye. The impulse was to hide. But it turns out that being forced to grieve openly basically saved us. Of course, there is something that feels almost heroic about suffering on your own, to be locked into a world of memory, almost a nobility, I understand this, but it is an illusion and a very dangerous, life-threatening situation to put yourself in. Susie (his wife) and I have grown to understand this. We are vigilant around each other, watchful that we don’t shut down.”

Grief is a very personal thing. We each have our own process of grieving and it is important to realise that there is no proper way to do it.

All the best, Paul

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